When I was around 30 years old, I began lifting weights on a regular basis. I could not have known at the time that I was embarking on a journey of wellness, strength, and personal empowerment, which would enrich the rest of my life in ways that went well beyond physical fitness. 

In 2008, my life was a whirlwind of chaos. My marriage was in a bad place, I hated my job, my finances were a mess, and I was eating and drinking enough for 2 grown adults. I was working hard, moving fast, but exhausted and going nowhere in particular. Trying to please everyone, but satisfying no one, I felt trapped in a relentless rat race. I was the owner of an unfocused brain with bad habits, and the victim of unfair circumstances (or so I thought). In hindsight, I can appreciate that all the elements for a meaningful life were in abundance, yet no bright lights were visible from where I stood.

One day, on an impulse, I joined a local gym. This was not entirely out of character. I had done some martial arts in my late teenage years (briefly, I eventually abandoned it). I had also accrued more than one gym membership in my past. Previous attempts involved joining with friends, exercising together, and even grabbing beers and fast food after our workouts (yes, totally counterproductive). After a few weeks or months, my commitment would fizzle as I chased the next shinny object. However, something felt different this time. I joined because I needed the world to stop spinning, and the most incredible thing happened, it did.  

When I pulled into the parking lot on my first day, I almost convinced myself not to go inside. Thankfully some other part of my brain pushed me to go inside. After a few minutes, I watched myself walking in the door, as if dragged by an older brother who would not take no for an answer. My first workout was awkward and even painful. My shoulders hurt, and I don?t mean that good muscle burn you get during a great work out. No, I?m talking about the desperate scream your joints can make when you put a bigger load than they can handle. I managed to power through the next 45 minutes before calling it a day. Once my workout was done, as I was walking out, I noticed a feeling of accomplishment which felt good but frankly unfamiliar. I tried to push it away, feeling like I did not deserve it. Yet I did deserve it, I had started my day with intention, set a goal to do something that was good for my health, and had gotten it done. This small victory ignited a sense of meaning that would change my life in almost every sense.

As the days passed, I noticed myself sticking with my new habit. I had more energy, and a sense of clarity that I lacked on earlier days... I think these feelings kept me coming back for more.

I also made a minor tweak to my routine by showering in the gym after each workout. This small change seemed to multiply my ?exercise high? by orders of magnitude. It also required me to prepare a gym bag the night before? seems like a small thing if you?re good at getting your stuff done, but for me I was a big deal at the time. For the first time in a long time, I saw a clear road to follow. I was going to get fit. I was going to change my eating habits. My transformation had begun. 

I would love to tell you that I have worked out consistently ever since this time, but this would not be true. Over the years, my setbacks included ignoring a worsening hernia (which I?ve since corrected through surgery), and coping through the Covid year by eating unhealthy and even becoming a bit of an at-home bartender (mojitos anyone?). After finally addressing my hernia surgery, I recommitted to health and fitness with renewed vigor. At 46 today, I?m fitter and more in control of how I fuel my body than ever before. 

Despite the occasional lapses, a permanent imprint has been left in me which I suspect will never go away. My self-perception changed when I started to exercise, as I began to identify as someone who prioritizes health and fitness. Because I started to see myself differently, my actions changed to match the new perception, and in this manner, new and healthy habits were born while simultaneously letting go of bad ones that were no longer aligned with my new values. 

Perhaps most surprisingly, this self-reinforcing loop impacted me in ways that went beyond health and fitness.

The mental clarity I mentioned earlier made it easier to execute steps that had been long overdue, for example registering for classes and finishing my bachelor?s degree. I also cut out excuses and recommitted to my job. By deciding to go all-in on my career, I became more focused, and found a renewed pleasure in my day-to-day responsibilities which I did not think was possible. Over time, I was compensated with more than one raise? and eventually I accepted a new position with significantly increased responsibility. My career has been on an upward trajectory year after year since this time. 

Eventually my marriage also went from bad to good. It?s amazing what having your shit together can do for your relationships. Since I started to correct all these areas of my life? I also gradually addressed my own behavior which was suffocating my relationships and causing a lot of harm. Look none of these things happened overnight. I also don?t want to leave you with a sense that it was all easy and fun. There have been set backs and ups and downs, in my career and in many parts of my life including my relationships. That?s ok, this is what living is all about. My point is that by creating a new habit of health and fitness, I managed to change my entire life in the process. 

If you are in a bad place? and not sure where to start your journey of improvement? consider starting with exercise and a healthy meal.

I wish you the best of luck, and hope you keep us updated on your progress.